Let’s talk about another common mindset block that could be holding you back from reaching your full potential in your business and life: jealousy.
Even though no one likes to talk about it or even admit it, we’ve all been jealous before, and many of us may experience this on a daily basis. Whether it’s of a friend, a celebrity or someone else that you aspire to be, the feeling sucks and can leave you drained and miserable.
Being jealous doesn’t only mean envying someone else, being jealous can also lead you to compare yourself to others. When you do, you could find that you don’t feel good enough to be successful at what you do. Whenever you see their accomplishments, it’s just another reminder of what you haven’t done. Worst of all, it can make you feel like you’d rather be someone else, ugh, is there anything worse than that feeling?
While social media is an amazing tool for communicating, connecting, and marketing, if you’re stuck in the comparison cycle, it’s also a constant reminder of someone else’s success. These constant comparisons can build up and become extremely detrimental to your self-confidence, your mindset and your success in your business.
In a perfect world, you would never experience jealousy. Jealousy is such a negative emotion that attracts even more negativity and can keep you in an endless cycle that prevents you from achieving your dream life. (Btw, click here to read about how mindset impacts your success in more detail)
But in reality, it’s almost impossible to completely get rid of all jealousy thoughts. These thoughts are natural, and are bound to come up unless you completely cut yourself off from everyone else in the world (and even then, I’m sure the thoughts would find their way to creep in).
So instead of attempting to do that (let’s be honest, you can’t give up netflix), what you need to do is learn how to utilize that jealousy to accomplish your goals. Instead of wishing you were someone else, you’re going to learn how to use that feeling of jealousy to open up more possibilities for yourself and your success.
Ready for the mind blowing trick? All you have to do to use jealousy to fuel your success is change the way you view someone else’s success. Simple right?
Here are two amazing things that you can discover when you notice jealousy emerging:
1. It’s what you want
When you have emotions like jealousy, it’s a clear indication that you want what someone else has. You start to feel frustrated, angry, and upset that you don’t have that and therefore, project those insecurities onto someone else by being mad that they do. But in order to change the way you view this individual’s success, you need to understand why exactly you’re feeling it in the first place.
If you’re feeling jealous of someone else owning their own successful business, or getting that new handbag you’ve been eyeing, you’re getting a free sign of clarity, indicating that this is something of value to you.
A lot of the time, we’re so unsure about what we want and that can leave us paralyzed from making moves, but emotions like jealousy can help point us in the right direction and inform us of what we truly want.
It’s also important to pay attention to what exactly your feelings are telling you. Are you jealous because you want that new BMW your best friend from college got? Or is it a deeper feeling of having financial freedom to make the choices you want?
Don’t get too hung up on the actual thing you seem jealous of, try to dig deeper and see why you want it so bad to get even more clarity. Take some time to think about why this is bothering you. Why do you get upset when you see your favorite blogger being super successful? Do you want an audience to share your thoughts with? Are you feeling like your message isn’t valuable enough because your audience is smaller (or even non-existent yet)?
This realization of why you want it is amazing because it can serve as additional motivation to keep working hard, or perhaps reroute your current plan. Every time you lose motivation, remind yourself of why you want it to keep you going!
2. It’s possible
Even though you might beat yourself up when you notice jealousy emerging, I have some awesome news. Seeing someone else succeed is the best form of motivation because it shows you it’s possible! A lot of the time, we may know what we want but have no idea how to get there (or don’t believe it’s actually possible). Especially if you’re stuck in a scarcity mindset that’s feeding you negative thoughts about your dreams.
If you find yourself thinking, “It’s too risky to start my own business, I should just work for someone else” or “I can’t own my own business, it’s too hard”, you’re probably stuck in negative belief patterns that are holding you back from achieving your goals!
Drawing inspiration from those you find yourself jealous of and using it as motivation to succeed is a great way to transform your negative feelings into positive ones.
Be grateful and thankful that someone is showing you your biggest dreams are possible. Plus, here’s another bonus! Not only are they showing you it is possible, you can get even more inspiration by studying their path to success. Seeing how they got there, following their advice, or getting mentorship are great ways to start building a path for yourself too.
The most important thing is don’t be passive, don’t just sit there and hate on someone, use it as fuel to work on YOUR dream life.
Now that you know what you’d like to achieve and see that it’s possible (and even possibly have some free advice on how to do it if you follow this person) it’s so much easier to achieve your goals. The key is to not get stuck in a limiting belief pattern about how you can’t do it, but use what you’ve just learned as motivation.
Also, remember not to get fixated on exactly how someone accomplished something, take notes but don’t forget you’re your own person, with unique skills, strengths and value to add to the world. Don’t let that get lost when looking for inspiration because the world needs what you have to offer!
What do you guys think? Do you find the tips in this post helpful? Or do you have any methods you’d like to share that help you deal with jealousy? I’d love to learn some new ones! Let me know in the comments below.